$$$ Money Stress and Hypnosis
Greetings from Doc Judie  
                                    
I thought I would just say it lilke it is....ouch! Not enough money to make ends meet, losing the house, medical bills etc.etc 
This is the common theme in my practice, and I have been there myself.  So what do you do when you are drowning in debt? 
Look for a rope to pull you out of the water.
This is not meant to give you financial advice, but I can help with your attitude and help you to delevop a plan, short of a Ernie Madoff blow in your life, there is hope and a way to turn this financial crisis in your life around.
 

Nurture your fondness and admiration  in a relationship (part #2)

Greetings from Doc Judie
 I am reviewing the principals of a good marriage or relationship, following the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work  by John
Gottman. The last blog discussed the "love map" knowing what your partner is feeling and thinking-being aware of your partner is essential in a good relationship. Remembering a birthday, anniversary, even down to "how old are the kids now" are signs of  being connected as a couple/ family or still living a single life. The second lesson from Gottman is nurturing fondness and admiration for eachother.

Fondness and Admiration: Go back to the first meeting, what was the attraction? What did our partner do that you admired, what traits touched your heart, turned you on, or made you laugh or feel appreciated? If the relationship still has a functioning fondness and admiration system in tack, the relationship is usually in good shape, or salvageable if the history and the memories are still there.  It is emotional laziness at times to take the relationship, the marriage or the family for granted and not make an effort to connect.  Dinner together, Time spent together, holding eachother at night and  keeping the flame burning by small gestures of kindness and affection are -not just part of the courting process, they are the glue that keeps a couple together.

Couples who can remember their history fondly usually still feel admiration and fondness, if they cannot remember their history, or distort any good memories, their relationship usually needs help.  All that "having fun stuff" buffers when the bad times hit.

How hypnosis can help with this process:
I often use hypnosis to jog the memories of what each partner found endearing in the other.  How long has it been since they gave eachother a compliment, did little things for eachother, it is easy to drift apart, it takes conscious effort. During the hypnotherapy portion of counseling, the couples recap (a list that they have each given me of positive traits) they go to times when the partner made them feel accepted, sexy, proud, laughed at jokes,made a special dinner, etc.) Sometimes there is not much on the list and the hypnosis helps the partners remember. Sometimes it confirms that there really was never any fondness or admiration even in the beginning-obviously that is a sign that much work has to be done for improvement. Often there is admiration and fondness but it is buried under hurt feelings and betrayals. 

Through hypnosis, the positive points of a relationship are brought out  for the subconscious mind to process. Memories of the wedding, first time you moved in together, struggling through difficult times together and what you have achieved together Is your life at this point better with the other person in it in spite of all the problems. What are you grateful for that you have never expressed to the other partner. It is so easy to spend all of the counseling session working on the problems, but that is not my focus.  Couples that come to me really want to get better, have a better relationship.  It is important to know that the problems will always be there.  Money may be tight, blended families are always a challenge, different work schedules, different tastes, and always disagreements.  That is all part of life, part of a learning how to be together  The shift comes with the attitude that there is more good things about being together, more admiration, more fondness.  When the concentration is there, suddenly the towels on the bathroom floor, the dirty dishes, long hours at work etc. can all be worked out.  Every day let that partner know your life is better with him/her. Work on your fondness and admiration.
Here's to your mental and physical health and your long loving relationship
Doc Judie
judie@docjudie.com
775 7823889

Couples communicate through hypnosis

Greetings from Doc Judie

I used to knock myself out, listening to all the reasons why couples do not seem to get along, and  rarely did  the "why" get answered. So I turned to the best expert I knew from a couples seminar, Dr John Gottman, author of Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. (highly recommended).  I put my own spin on his research, and used the principals through a hypnotherapy script
. .
Often the couples really don't know what is going on... or they are too embarrassed or not in touch with their own subconscious feelings to blurt it out. I often hear words such as: I just don't feel the same, he/she doesn't turn me on, he's changed, she's changed. He/she is grumpy, he/she never includes me in decisions etc.etc.etc.

I ask the bullet question; "have you quit,  or are you willing to work on your relationship?" The ones that "are done" and state, I doubt if anything can save this relationship are probably right!  I don't give a very promising prognosis.  The ones that really want to have a good relationship, but don't know how to turn things around are my favorite clients-if they are willing to work on new behavior, change their script and find new ways of appreciating eachother, their chances are pretty good. Hearts and flowers are just around the corner.  (I bet I have 5 babies named after  me). Do I have a perfect score? Or course not, but much higher than former "communications" talk therapy. Much better  when hypnosis delivers the message.

Gottman states: "Happy marriages are based on deep friendship. Mutual respect and enjoyment of each other's company. They express foundness for each other day in and day out."  Best friends do not use criticism, comtempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.  Remember, this is your best friend! So this is the first script, I will continue through the seven principal; by the way, this works for all family members, you can fall in love with them all over again, even the difficult teen age son!

Here is the lst script: The love map
Take a deep breathe and relax, go to your favorite vacation spot together, if you have one, if not imagine one where you are both having such a good time, taking a walk without any interruptions, just the two of you. Onthis walk, learn about each others' lives. What happens every day, what are your hopes, fears and dreams,what makes you tick?  How have things changed over the years. Say to your partner:" Let me in on the details of your life that I have never made time for; I just "assumed that I knew you" but maybe I don't.  What is in your heart that I don't know about.  (then I let each of them speak and the other listens) There is no anger, no comment,  just quiet listening to each others' deepest thoughts.  It is usually things that the couple did not know about each other, it can cover important events in their lives, current stresses, current worries, hopes and aspirations for self and others. It ends with thanking the partner for sharing and mutual support. Sometimes this takes two or three sessions, but it usually leads to deep conversations after the sessions.

Sounds pretty easy, but it takes practice.  So many times, couples turn into "room mates" this reminds couples what they saw in each other from the beginning; how they use to talk, plan their future and not just ask " if gas in in the car, did they get the kids to baseball practice on time, did they put money in the bank? Talk about real stuff that makes life worth living-do it with your best friend.

More tomorrow on "Who am I"
Here's to your mental and physical health
Doc Judie
judie@docjudie.com
775 782-3889

 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Tapping into your strength through hypnosis

Greetings from Doc Judie

I can remember my early training, using the methods drummed into my head, mainly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT.  It is what most therapists use because it gets to the point. It looks at "what is wrong" and the therapy guilds you to change your thinking and do something different. It is very useful for changing habits, but it has its drawbacks.  Like most popular theories, CBT points out "what is wrong" and does not concentrate on "what is right" with the person. 

I use a positive approach, asking a client "what is good in your life? How do your strengths get you through difficult times? What is still good in spite of your problems.  Most people can cite the reasons that they still find joy in life, a few have to be taught from the ground up before they give up and perish. 

When you come right down to the basics, humans are programmed right down to their DNA to want to live and to have a good life. The problems will always be there, and regardless of the degree of suffering and pain, you will return to a set point of happiness that you had before the tragedy. 

 A sixty year old man was recently found wandering around a desert in Southern California without food or water for 5 days.  He wrote notes to his wife and remembered his love for her, and that is what kept him alive until help arrived, that connection to his wife kept him alive. 

A mother of a 14 year old son who recently committed suicide. She has to remember that she has other children, and it is not her time to leave the earth.  She struggles with the recent tragedy, but pushes herself to take care of her grandchildren, and their innocent laughter helps to heal her heart  get through the day. It is a reminder that she has purpose, internal strength, to be here. 

A young man was recently caught "doctor shopping' for pain medication which turned into an addiction. It all started anno
cently by a doctor too eager to reach for his prescription pad to solve a problem.  My young client is in a recovery program and is counseling younger peers with addiction problems. He has moved on, using the experience in a positive way to help others.

Pain is pain, suffering is part of life,  and no one has the perfect life so accept  the human condition. You are meant to suffer and feel pain for awhile ,not block every thing that comes to you with a pill.   When you lose someone, you will be devastated, but within a two month period (most of the time, may take a little longer) eventually you will start to return to your set point of being yourself, and yes, you will be able to find joy in your life "in spite of the pain."

So accept it, "shit happens" but "happiness happens" too!  I listen to my clients as it is important to let them tell their story.  it is important to  but it equally important not to stay in the grief session after session.  Many of my clients have not found relief through traditional therapy, they state that they have spent years learning everything about their depression, they have taken pills, and they understand their condition thoroughly....but they are still depressed! 

HYPNOSIS:   I know you were waiting for me to finally get to the turn around point.  Through relaxation, breathing techniques, I help people "get back into their bodies" they often report feeling like they are floating and not in touch. The script recognizes the sad event, but does not leave the client there or direct them "not to think about their problems." Those ridiculous suggestions just don't work.  Instead, I allow the client to follow their own path, they know what they need to do far better than I ever will. Perhaps they need to mourn a little longer, they is no magical time limit.  Perhaps, they just don't feel like getting up and finding another job, they have to find themselves first. Perhaps they need to look at the picture of their lost child and not move the clothes out-let it be! (for a reasonable amount of time-the client will usually tell me "I would like to find a job within the year, or I can't feel like this for another year").

The second part of the script is to remind clients that they have strength to get through this even if they don't think that they do.  They can go back to other situations in their life and remember how they got through those periods. Through hypnosis they remember how to tap into their survivor instincts, which are much stronger than their weaknesses.
The problems will "always be there" or new ones will crop up, but how they deal with it and how they learn to build up their energy is what they find through the hypnotherapy sessions.

What helps? I often take the clues from the clients. Do they want to be with family and friends, or do they prefer to be alone? Would they like to try journaling or would they rather turn to a daily walk? Isolation is good for awhile, but humans are social creatures, and that connection is healing and necessary.

There are a few of my clients that are so down that they do need help from a mental health professional or a medical doctor, at least for awhile, but most people will come out of their grief and  they want to  find their way back to a life worth living, they are just stuck for awhile.

 So whatever you are going through, know that you will get through it with your strengths, even if you don't know what they are right now.  Lean on others when it gets too tough, or get out of your self for a little while and go help someone else. The problems, the hurt, the loss will never leave you; but you are a survivor, you have made it this far and you have the genetic code to get through the sad times and yes, even feel joy and happiness again. 
Hypnosis can help with the process, find a licensed ASCH professional in your area or give me a call.

Here's to your mental and physical health
Doc Judie
judie@docjudie.com
775 7823889

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Tapping into a new vibration through hypnosis

Greetings from Doc Judie
I have blogged about tapping in the past, but would like to revisit the subject with some new observations from my clients and information from Carol Look, specialist in tapping techniques, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).
Carol Look is an  Emotional Freedom Technique practitioner. she describes EFT as  a form of psychological acupressure that uses a gentle tapping technique instead of needles to stimulate traditional Chinese acupuncture points to move energy that is stuck in the neuro-pathways, or meridians.  Carol  taps on the designated points along with verbalizing the identified problem followed by a general affirmations phase, the energy system balances often relieve psychological stress and pain, states Long.
Here are some of the tapping points:
 Tap on the face and body,and then move to the hand  By using a karate chop type of motion to the side of the hand and tapping on the inside of the wrist and each finger.  Along with the tapping, you must use a series of words to change the vibration from negative to positive thinking.

The script: "Even though I have fear (such as I have no $$$) I completely accept myself  Repeat the phrase while tapping on each spot five ties. 
The first few times I tried this technique, I could not stop laughing.  First of all it tickled and I found certain tap
ping spots (especially by my lips and under my arms irritating!)   I found it ritualistic, and too airy-fairy for my scientific mindset.
However, it started to relieve my stress, and when I tapped for "chocolate" I no longer wanted to eat it.  So I will not waste your time with "proof" on how it works.  I really don't have concrete evidence, but for many of my clients and myself, there was a shift in behavior.  Long says it works better than "talk therapy for her" as it physically moves the energy around. 

For those of you who read my blogs, you know that I view hypnosis as a wonderful therapeutic tool and it blends with so many other healing modalities.  Tapping is no exception.  When my clients learn to relax through a hypnosis session, they are more receptive to tapping.  I never tap on the first session, I usually let my clients get use to relaxation and then I add it to my program.  It has been a great help for over eating, smoking, alcohol and anxiety.  Give it a try, easy to learn and most report it is a lot of fun, interesting, and amazed at the outcome.  Like anything new, it is not for everyone.There are a few clients that "don't like being touched and do not enjoy the experience." Many ways to the pathway of the mind, just try another technique.
Here's to your mental and physical health
Doc Judie
775 782-3889
judie@docjudie.com

Moving on through hypnosis

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.”

Greetings from Doc Judie

There seems to be a flood of clients that want to "move on" from their past and have a fresh new start.  Several of them are relocating.  In many cases, I think this is a good idea, a fresh new start, a new beginning, a chance to start over. There is a catch to the move; my clients have to do their homework, clean up their past or it will follow them wherever they go.

Here are a few examples:

Mary loves her husband, she will always love him, and he will always love her, but after ten years of marriage,  he has told her that he is gay. The couple has been working through their transition for over a year. At first they wanted to stay together, but Mary could not live with the life change of her husband.  She has filed for  divorce and is moving across the country to be with her daughter and her grand children from a previous marriage.. In one year, Mary has gone from being devastated to looking forward to a new place and a new life.  She meditates, does her breathing exercises and journels every evening.  She focuses on what her new life will bring to her and has said good bye to her life with her husband. I facilitated a final goodbye session.  It was very touching as both parties have great love and respect for one another. In the final session I gave them the suggestion that they had traveled for many miles together, but now there was a fork in the road, they are each taking a different direction. They will have new experiences, but they may chose to stay in touch with each other after a period of time.  They each said their good byes and were ready to move on, looking forward to their new life without eachother.

My second client has to leave the state of Nevada.  He has been in trouble with his family and the law for gambling debts.  His wife and children have left him and he feels alone and at times suicidal. After many sessions, he started to understand why gambling was in his life.  It was his "quick fix" when everything else in his life was not going right.  He could finally see what a destructive force gambling was and how it was taking away his life, his savings and his family. Amino Balance and Neurolift helped with the impulse control and hypnosis helped him to find a new path. Sometimes when it seems nothing is left, a person has to rebuild slowly and still be able to see a small flame of hope that lives within their soul. No matter how small, it will grow.  He decided that Nevada was not the place for him.  He loved the ocean, he used to sail and contacted old friends in San Diego, California.  He is working on boats and is building a new life.  He never thinks of his gambling days, he has learned from his past, he has moved on.

My third client has lost her job, she has cancer and does not have long to live. Through many sessions she has made peace with her illness and has chosen to enjoy her remaining days doing what she wants to do which involves travel.  She sold her house and feels that for the first time in her life "she is alive' even though it may not be for long. Her message is "live every day like it is your last and you will find happiness." she is ready to move on.

A new place, a new environment, new friends stimulate all of us.  It may be what you need, but don't just jump without doing the work and cleaning up your past or your problems will follow you to your new location.  So if a trip to Europe, living in Mexico,moving to the coast or to the mountains sounds like pure tonic to you...what are you waiting for!  Go with a clean slate, enjoy your new life and find your happiness.
Here's to your mental and physical health
Doc Judie
775 782-3889 judie@docjudie.com

Mothers Day
Greetings from Doc Judie

Mothers Day is coming up this Sunday, and around this time of year, I go into a  subconscious mania state.  I find myself baking "horsie" cupcakes for my granddaughter's birthday. . Of course the little sugar animals must have a hand made correl through the magic of my trusty glue gun and apple tree twigs.  I then brave the chilly spring winds and plant heirloom tomatoes, fava beans, zucchini, swiss chard and line the garden with sweet peas and morning glories.  The  frenzy winds down as I pour over old photo albums; looking for that one special  picture of me and my mom.  I always swear I am going to blow it up put it in a frame with roses on the borders. I love it because it brings back the feeling of a special Mothers Day many years ago.    I have my arms around my mother and I am squeezing her so tight  that she is spilling the home made pasta dish in her hands. We are both laughing.  I miss her. At the same time I am grateful for all the years that I had with her. A good mom is like winning the lotto, and I won big! 

On Mothers Day I meditate, I think of her, I think of my own girls, now beautiful mothers to my three grand daughters. I think of all the women that have touched my life.  I think of my Auntie Rose who passed away in her 90's, and  Auntie Mabel who just turned 102, alive and fiesty. The whole family is still grieving the recent loss of my in law  Margarita;  i am so glad that she was here to see two new baby girls come into the world.  i think of my other dear in-law Jan and all the fun we have  sharing our grand daughters. 

These special women all share my memories, my kitchen, my garden and always my heart. Celebrate the mom's in your life.
Happy Mothers Day

for a lighter side, go to You Tube  Mothers Day www.baratsandbereta.com

The Brain that Changes Itself

 

Related Video

  

 

Self-Hypnosis For The Birthday Wish
Greetings from Doc Judie
Most people start their New Years resolution on the 1st of January, turning over a new leaf with the click of the calender clock announcing a new year. It is a little different, for me I set a goal list on my birthday.  From all the self help guru's that I listen to,  I have taken the best ideas from Quantum Physics, the works of John Assaraf, and Peggy McColt. They are pop culture self motivators and they definitely have their viewpoints; but I have my own custom version, and I hope you have yours. As I am in my sixties, I have lived more years than I have left, the remaining time has my attention.   I know that through quantum physics, the "universe" is neutral, it really does not care if I live or die, if I have a good life or not.  What the universe does provide is a type of energy that I can tap into and have a predictable outcome.  If I follow certain rules of logic and order in my life the chances are increased that I will have a healthier, more productive life. Assarat theorizes that the reason  people fail at the "motivation list"  is they don't stick to a, firm time table of 30 days. The time table cannot be broken for change to take place. Here is how it works: 1) Think of the changes that you want in your life. put a lot of effort and deep thinking into this as it is more than a wish list, you must see it as a positive change that will happen.
2) According to McColt, the list must be written and posted for view-mine is on the refrigerator and on my computer calender.  It is viewed at least three times a day. The change must be seen as a work in progress, that it is happening right now.  My version is that a working of action  has to be written on how the changes will take place, I have to be motivated and willing to do the steps for the change to happen. McColt claims not to care on how it will happen, but I think subconsciously, she does have a plan.
Most of us have gone this far, but here is the interesting twist that I actually do with my clients with addictions, but I have not applied it to myself:
3) The new action must be in play  for 30 days without a break.  There is no such thing as "a slip" on day 26 and oh well, I'll forgive myself and get back on track attitude.  If the change order is broken before the 30 days, you must start all over!!!

Self-Hypnosis script

I am going out on a limb here, but in the spirit of true committment, I will give you my self-hypnosis script for my 30 day change starting March lst and I will give you the final report in 30 days.  Make your own list and do it with me, I would love to hear how you are doing on your list. I use my script twice, once when I get up in the morning and once before bedtime..  It sets the tone,

I clear my mind with deep breathing.  The count is 3 inhale through the nose; hold for the count of 4,  and exhale slowly through the mouth for the count of 7.  This is repeated 10 times.

I see myself relaxing,  the energy from my breathing continues to move slowly through my body starting at the top of my head, working through the muscles in my face, down the front of my body and down my spine.  I feel warm gentle healing energy relaxing me, clearing me as it travels through my heart and my lungs.  The warm relaxed energy increases and travels down my legs into my feet  I am relaxed, open for my mind  to receive new information. ( I can do this very quickly because of years of practice, but take as much time as you need.)  In the evening, I often use soft music in the background, but not in the morning.)

I see myself changing in three areas, my health, my exercise routine,and my career.  i see a  change that  is right for me.  I see my blood pressure in a normal range and everything in my body working well.  I walk 3-5 miles a day, swim, or work out every day and I see 10 lbs that are so easy to lose shedding off my body. I no longer desire any white flour products, or anything with sugar in it.  My diet is composed of fresh vegetables, fruit, chicken or fish and 8 glasses of water. I will  pass a test  that will open new opportunities for me. My income will increase to  double what it was the month before, and my website will double in customers who viewed it (now you can definitely help me with this one, please tell a friend to view my site!)  I see everything on my list as happening. I am committing today and I will commit every day to keep my list in tack for 30 days, i have given my word and sacred pledge to bring my ideas to reality.
I now drift off to sleep and these new changes will work in my subconscious as I sleep.  or morning  I am awake, ready for the new day and all of the changes that are now in my life.

  Here is to my Happy Birthday wish list and to yours whenever you want to start it.

Doc Judie 775 7823889 judie@docjudie.com 

Building Wisdom Through Hypnosis

Greetings from Doc Judie

Several of the blogs are building blocks for developing or deepening qualities that build your character strengths and virtues, they are the strengths and virtues found in people who lead happy lives, and that is what my practice is all about; living the good life. 

The topic today is wisdom which immediately conjure up an image of dead poets and politicians  (or in this case, Father Time) giving their sage advice to the world!

Think of wisdom in a broader sense of the word; it is referring to your wisdom, you character,

Sometimes you have to quiet down the mind and be by yourself to hear your own thoughts. It will set you right with the world again.

Reflect on the words in this 1968 Broadway Play; Sir Lawrence Olivia is Father Time.

Time

 Stand before me on the sign of infinity all you of the earth.

With the granting of the law of provination, comes the application of change. I will give you the key…and with this knowledge please realize comes the responsibility of sharing it. I will show you the way... It is very simple. Throughout the universe there is order: In the movement of the planets, in nature, and in the functioning of the human mind. A mind that is in its natural state of order is in harmony with the universe and such a mind is timeless. Your life is an expression of your mind, you are the creator of your own universe for as a human being you are free to will what ever state of  being you desire through the use of your thoughts and words;  ah there is great power there. It can be a blessing or a curse it is entirely up to you.  For the quality of your life is brought about the by the quality of your thinking, think about that! Thoughts produce action.  Look at what you are thinking; see the pettiness and the envy and the greed and the fear and all the other attitudes that cause you pain and discomfort. Realize that the one thing that you have absolute control over is your attitude.  See the effect that it has on those around you.  Each life is linked to all life and your words carry with them chain reactions, like a stone that is thrown into a pond.  If your thinking is in order, your words will flow directly from the heart creating ripples of love. If you truly want to change the world my friend, you must change your thinking.  Reason is your greatest tool. It creates an atmosphere of understanding, which leads to caring, which is love.  Chose your words with care, go forth with love.

Now switch your thinking to what you would do if you only had six months to live.  What words of wisdom would you want to give to your children, your loved ones? This happened to Dr. Randy Paunch who has an amazing video on You Tube  called: The Last Lecture. There is also a book out featuring Randy Paunch's last lecture.  His mother introduced him by telling her friends: yes he was a doctor, but "not the kind who helps people" He wanted people to know that it was important to keep humor in tact, even if you are dying.  He explained that his cancer did not show on the outside and he was in the best shape of his life. He demonstrated by doing army style pushups!  This was his list of wisdom to be passed on:
Let your kids have a great imagination, let them paint their room; never lose your childlike curiosity throughout your whole life.
Remember your roots, keep what is important about your past
Loyalty is a two way street; be loyal to the people who are loyal to you
Ask people for help, it is more important to be honest than to "be hip," let them know when you are down, and be there for them.
Don't give up and don't bale; the best stuff in life can be the crap at the bottom of a barrel.
Find the best in everybody. sometimes it takes a long time, but keep waiting,someone will finally show you their good side. Nobody is all bad.
Don't worry about achieving your dreams, what is important is how you live your life; the dreams will find you.
I hope you enjoy the notes from my last lecture, but  they were not for you; I did this for my kids!

I often do sessions with people who feel it is time to reflect on their own lives. What has been accomplished, what is left to do, and what words of wisdom to pass on.  Here is your journey and your discovery on your own brand of wisdom.  See what you are all about.
Doc Judie
Here is to your mental and physical health
775 782-3889 judie@docjudie.com