Greetings from Doc Judie
How many sessions will it take?

This is probably the most common question when a client wants to break a habit.  Most do not want to sit around an office talking about their habit any longer than they "are forced to" and yes, they are also looking at their wallet!
So how long does it take to break a habit?  No quick answer, but the training of a therapist who has a background in psychology, drug and alcohol therapy vs a lay hypnotherapist who has six weeks of training will look at a client differently. 
The lay hypnotherapist will only look at the symptom and will suggest a behavioral change Surprise! It can work, but usually only for a period of time. If the client has not come to terms with the cause of the habit, it may return under stress, chemical inbalances in the brain chemistry, or take another form. ("I no longer smoke pot, but I now enjoy wine!").
It also depends on the motivation of the client.  Can you imagine working with Charlie Sheen? He does not want to quit, so until he does either by loss of income, court order, or failed health, no amount of therapy will help.

I had a couple today with a husband who is an alcoholic and a wife that "just can't leave him." They are divorced but live together and have two children. They are both lovely people, but he does not think he has a problem and can manage a six pack a night, and a couple of nights that go into the wee morning hours "with the boys!" He does not want to give up his drinking "on the surface" but he knows she has had it with him and is ready to leave him for the final time.  After the intital interview, I realized that he is afraid that he can't quit. There is so much alcohol in his system that is is not a safe suggestion to take him off  completely. I asked him what was a reasonable amount that he could commit to for the first week.  He came up with two beers a night and no drinking with the boys.His wife was not happy with the gradual withdrawl, but she agreed to go along with it.  I also gave him massive amounts of amino acids as alcohol issues are not always a matter of will power, (or any other addiction for that matter) but body chemistry.  The aminos which contain tyrosine, L glutamine and phenylalaine help with the cravings and replace dopamine naturally (alcohol depletes the dopamine receptors).
So to answer the question, one session, probably not unless the client has had success and is on the final stage and just needs a push.  Divorce, long term use, poor self esteem need tools over several sessions.  I usually recommend five sessions and then a review to see how they are doing.

If you have started therapy with a qualified therapist who uses ASCH hypnosis, stay wit the program,it may be longer than you want, but with the layering of the message and the guidance of your counselor,your chances of success are far greater.I'll let you now how the couple is progressing next week.
Here's to your mental and physical health
Doc Judie
judie@docjudiecom
775 7823889

Hypnosis and Children
Greetings from Doc Judie
I am often asked if hypnosis works with children. I have used it on toddlers, preschool children all the way through smoking cessation programs for junior high and high school students. I do not recommend using hypnosis with children who have gone through sexual abuse, PTSD, extreme physical or emotional abuse without working with trained mental health worker who has training in working with traumatized children.  The children that I worked with had mild to moderate problems such as biting nails, bed wetting, anger management, smoking, problems concentrating in the class room.  Granted, there can be underlying issues, and it is important to work with someone who has a background in Psychology and uses approved ASCH hypnosis, not just a "lay hypnotherapy" with as little as 6 weeks of training.
Here are three situations where I used hypnosis with children:
#1 The mother, a hospice nurse brought in her toddler.  She was beside herself as her little son had a brain tumor and they could not put him out during the removal procedure. (only local to check his motor functions). She was allowed in the treatment room and asked if I could show her techniques to relax her son who cried and retracted when he saw his mother start to cry. I showed her how to hold her toddler, and softly rub is temples and softly sing "Om" to him.  The little toddler did what most toddlers do, he responded and went to sleep.  I was really "addressing her anxiety and fear!" This had the duel effect of calming her down as well as the baby.  After many days of repeated practice, they both calmed down when he was rocked, heard the"om" sound and his temples were rubbed.  You do not always need a lot of words in hypnosis, especially with babies.  Just go into a natural rhythm.
#2 My group of 2nd and 3rd graders who either had to come to my group therapy or spend their lunch break in the principals office...I always won!   I allowed them to design their own "trip"...my favorite was the rocket ship.  Of course it looked like a rock star owned it, purple with gold stripes and went faster than the speed of sound.  They had to decide as a group who would drive the ship, and where it would stop.  They could go anywhere in the world.  Somehow, Disneyland and the Pyramids always tied.  I gave them problems to solve during the visualization such as what would you do if there was a big storm? Who
would help you? It was always heroic, but they came up with creative ways to work together and solve problems. They talked about "paying attention to meteorites showers, and how much fuel they had" just the way they had to pay attention in class.  The teachers reported back that it was a successful intervention.
#3 My own grand kids ages  2,3, and 4.  Kids are naturally musical, most like sounds and my grandchildren are no exception. When we are doing "quiet time" usually for my benefit, or getting ready for naps.  I put on music, the sound of water, classical music or new age chanting.  I show them how to say the "ommmmmm sound" and hold it as long as they can. It is relaxing for them. I ring a little bell and tell them that when they hear the sound, they can close their eyes and see beautiful colors.  Their little faces smile and they tell me what they see.  This relaxes them, and they usually take their nap, and sometimes so do I!
eative dialog, it is a lot of fun and a great way to calm down little active minds.
Here's to your mental and physical health
Doc Judie
775 7823889
judie@docjudie.com

Things are not as they seem...
Greetings from Doc Judie

Helping Suicide Survivors through Hypnosis

Greetings from Doc Judie
You may be thinking, why is she talking about suicide right before Christmas, it is because it is the third leading cause of death in the United States (especially teen boys)  and in my very small community of Douglas County (between Lake Tahoe California and Reno Nevada) it is above the national average.. 

When I get the call for help connected with suicide  the griever does not know where to go or what to do, I clear the calender. In my trade, this is "the worst of the worst phone calls, but the most important one I can take." I usually have one client a month who has not found any relief from the suicide of a daughter, son, wife or friend-NO MATTER HOW RECENT OR LONG IT HAS BEEN. I have had as many as 6 a month and I will confess to you that the type of grief that these people  feel takes a toll on me.  I have to meet with professionals to clear my own counter transference or I am not able to help the next client. If you are in practice, make sure that you talk about this with your peers.

There is not a lot of research on the grievers or survivors of suicide, if I completed another thesis, that is the subject that I would chose.  To date, the best body of work is from a wonderful photo/journalist Kerry Payne. She understands this subject well as she lost her own father to suicide as a young girl.  Kerry's work is in progress and can be viewed on Burn Magazine/Left Behind. It is moving, dramatic, photography that catches the soul of the people being interviewed and raw honesty about the subject. It is really worth looking at if this subject touches you in any way, or please refer it to someone you know who has suffered the loss of a friend or family member to suicide.

I will do a mini series on suicide, but for this blog, I only want to concentrate on the survivors of suicide and help them to get through the holidays, the worst time of year for many.  If the suicide is recent, it is important to see a counselor or hypnotherapist trained in grief work.  At first, it is to make sure that the client is safe, functional, and that a "small do do list" can be given to them to get through the first week.  Do not rush the process if you are a therapist or a friend. The griever does not know what to do, there is no guide book for the emotions that will flood them.  they may want to be alone, or afraid to be alone or both!  They may freeze up, rant and rave, drink, or stop eating.  Let them be, just be a good listener, and keep them from harming themselves. Gently encourage them to eat by dropping off soup, or if appropriate, taking them to a restaurant.  Just listen and let them know you are there. Do not give advise such as "you will get over this, God is watching out for your loved one, just get rid of everything." I usually use a direct approach in my hypnosis script after I have assessed that they are safe, not suicidal and can function through the shock of what happened, or if they need medical aid.

Hypnotherapy script:
You are going through a very difficult time right now.  I will never know what you are feeling or what you are going through,   but I am honored that you are here asking me for help, so with your permission, I want you to promise to do what I tell you for this week,even if you don't feel like it. I want you to write this down in a little book by your bedside ( I usually provide a little red book and have the key points outlined for them).  Follow the instructions exactly, every day.  When you wake up, get up very slowly, open the blinds and look outside.If the weather permits, get some fresh air. Regardless of the weather, just look outside and breathe for one full minute.  Breathe deep down to your belly as you may have forgotten how to even take a breathe and you need to breathe so you can think.  #2 Now write in your book the bare minimum chores that you have to do today.  Do not do any more than you have to do, everything will be taken care of in time, but just not this week.  If it involves police reports, death certificates, funeral arrangements, personal possessions, only do what you feel like doing and if you have help, ask for it.  #3 Do not do any more than what you wrote in your book, but once you write it, commit to doing it. #4 You must drink one full 8 ounce glass of water, sip slowly and feel the water slowly going down your throat, you will drink at least 6 glasses of water every day as it is easy to dehydrate.  #5 Take care of your personal hygiene, brush your teeth, comb your hair, take a bath or shower (unless you prefer to do this at night time) put on clean clothes #5 Eat small meals.  You may not feel like it, but take in a little nourishment, either cereal, yogurt, soft boiled eggs or what ever you want. You don't have to eat much, but you need some food so your brain can think and your body can heal. It will help even if what I am telling you does or make sense. #5 Go through the day at your own pace, no one has the right to tell you what to do, but you may have children, or a spouse or at least yourself to take care of and parts of your life have to go on.  Ask your mind to go on automatic so you won't have to think of the daily routines, you will not even remember how you did it, but everything that needs to happen will get done somehow. #6 When you feel a wave of grief or if everything is too overwhelming, sit down, go home if you can, get to your car- take a break.  Schedule in a minimum of two times a day to be by yourself, cry, go over memories or just be still.  Sometimes you will feel very emotional, sometimes it comes later and you sometimes you may feel numb, it does not matter, there are no rules.Do not question your feelings, you will only take in what you are able to handle, nature has a way of protecting you.It is normal to lose your appetite or feel shut down, but continue eating small meals during the day even if it is a few sips or a few bites. Keep water beside you and sip on it often. At night, go to bed when you feel that you need to sleep and if you need to nap during the day, that is fine too. Your body is directing you, listen to it. If you can't sleep, try   Tryptophan 2 to 4 tablets can help you.  If you need stronger medications, see your doctor. DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL. You may want to, but it will deepen your depression, if at all possible do not drink alcohol or take any medications without consulting with your doctor.  Know that what you are feeling is a normal reaction. Keep warm, you may feel cold as this is part of the body shivering through shock.  Turn to friends and family and let them know what you need.  It is o.k. to tell them that you need some company,or if you need help or support. Let them know  if you need  to be left alone or have them take phone messages for you.   Go slow, feel what you are feeling and go at your own pace.  This week  your only  job is to just get through it.

It may seem cold that I did not go into the details on how they would feel about their loved one, but I have no way of knowing. I am almost giving instructions on how to "build a book shelf" as they need directives.  Time will help and the scrip will change.  Be gentle with your friends and clients and let them feel what they are feeling is their business, your job is to keep them safe and  just listen.
Here is to your mental and physical health
Take care of someone who needs you this week.
Doc Judie
judie@docjudie.com

Rebuilding intimacy and sex through hypnosis

Greetings from Doc Judie

This is the on-going mini-series of tips on a happy marriage or long term relationship. I highly recommend you read John Gottman's The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. This will give you the in depth study,homework, and quizzes from the country's foremost relationship expert: 
Sex: Gottman's defination " Fundamental appreciation and acceptance of each other." Sounds easy and logical, but in no other area of a couple's life is there more potential for embarrassment, hurt, and rejection than sex. It seems so basic, but couples often find it very challenging to communicate about the topic clearly. One partner may want sex more than the other. One may want more variety than the other or a whole myriad of life challenges get in the way.  Children come along and there is no private time together without planning Couples get too tired, too stressed, they use it "as a hold back" when they are angry, or they have just lost interest.

The solution is to talk to eachother about sex in a way that lets the other person feel safe. This means learning the right way to ask for what you want and the appropriate way to react to your partners requests. Really listen, perhaps it is a body imaging problem, illness, aging-talk about what is going on with your body, and get a good medical checkup to rule out any physical causes. (women, talk to your ob/gynabout the safety of bioidential hormones) Amino Balance with 21 aminos (Montiff brand which I carry) helps a tired stressed body etc.

 So start with the basics and educate yourselves, there are several good books on the subject of intimacy and sex.  A few books that I recommend are changing Bodies, changing lives by Ruth Bell Alexander, The Sex Starved Marriage, Michelle Davis,Resurrecting Sex
David Schnarch, Sex after 50, Helen Singer Kaplan, and  finish up with champagne and reading chapters to each other from Great Sex by
Alenander Penny.

I always remember parts of old corney sex jokes: How do Italians make love "Hey Marie, you awake?" How do Irish make love "Brace yourself Bridget, how do American women make love: Beige, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige!" (not very politically correct, but if you are even slightly chuckling, perhaps this has struck a familiar situation!). The goal of sex is to be closer, to have more fun and to feel satisfied, valued.  Keep the criticism out of the lovemaking, if you start out "you never touch me, change to a positive of " I love it
 when you hold me." If there are old trust issues, or fears from past failures, time to clear them up or years will slip by in a sexless marriage when perhaps, that is not what either of you want.

Hypnotherapy script:
Relax, close your eyes and let me just be still beside you and listen to your breathing.  We are working on our problems and we are both willing to find a solution as we want closeness, intimacy and great sex back in our marriage.  Somehow we got off track, and instead of going over all the reasons, lets look at changing this and building up our intimacy and reconnecting.  That is really what we both want.  I will make the promise to listen to you and to find out what makes you feel good.  Even if I don't agree, and I don't want to go into your fantasy, I will listen and respect you. I will be brave enought to share my fantisies with you as well.  We will work out a compromise, something that works for both of us, that we are both willing to do or to compromise on.  If either of us wants sex more than the other, we will not be hurt or find other ways of satisfying the other.  Know that we are safe, we love each other, and sex is our special time to come together.  I will make time for you, and you will make time for me."

Even better to write your own script and say it to each other just before you sleep. Here's to finding your way back to intimacy and a healthy happy sex life at any age.

Doc Judie
judie@docjudie.com
775 782-3889

The Resistant Partner

Greetings from Doc Judie

I am following the relationship outline from John Gottman's The Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work. I am right in the middle of the fourth principal, resistance to sharing power and it is really getting interesting.This  is usually when couples show up for help; what to do when one person is willing to work on a relationship and the other isn't? 

Couples who shared the power and listened to eachother's input were less likely to get divorced states Gottman.. "When a man is not willing to share power with his partner there is an 81% chance that the marriage will self-destruct!" When there is resistance to sharing power, the four horsemen show up, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or stonewalling the union will be damaged. This does not mean that couples agree on everything. The union can take differences of opinion, heated discussion,and even a healthy shouting match as long as the main decisions are made together. This builds a firm foundation for compromising and longivity of the partnership.

Life is very different than the marriages of your parents generation and division of power. Over 65% of couples both work, breadwinning is shared, both men and women have learned new egalitarian roles for survival and happiness in the 20th century.

I address changing roles for couples who feel that they have definite roles and do not let their mate into their territory.  They often live side by side.  When the woman says: "Bob handles all the business decisions, I just take care of the kids and the house." or " when the man states: Look, I handle the big projects, I build the house and take care of the yard, she would just get in my way. I count on her to make the meals, do the correspondence and keep the house in order." You both have to remember that you both own your marriage or partnership, and helping, sharing and accepting influence from each others' is a cornerstone of success.  No one likes to be kept in the dark, or there is emotional laziness creeps in.

Hypnotherapy script:
You both met, talked about your dreams and you want to continue this  journey together.   You don't know how long your time together  will last, but while it does, I am sure that you want to give it the very best chance for success. Every relationshp has a few flaws, but the successful ones talk about it when one partner is feeling shut out.  This usually shows up in the bedroom, and you want to be connected emotionally and physically, so consider this exercise an insurance policy or preventive medicine for what ailes your teamwork. Of course there is a natural division of power, but think of yourself as equal partners and your relationship is your joint-venture, your company.  If one partner is away,enabled, or dies, you want the other partner to know everything that is going on. Is is very sad to see older couples who lived different lives under the same roof.  When one spouse dies, the other does not know what they own or where to find the deed to the house or bank accounts.  The other may fall apart because they have never run a vacumn cleaner or even turned on the microwave oven.  So take a journey "into each others' world" see the partnership from the other person's viewpoint.  What are the mutual goals.  Don't you find that the burden of paying bills, saving money, planning for the future, or getting through rough times is an easier load when both partners know what is going on and both partners have a say on the income? Take a few minutes and discuss the dreams.  Are they still the same as when you first met? How have they changed for each partner? Does one want to save for a truck, does the other want to put money away for the kids college?  Perhaps one partner really likes to cook and clean but hates yard work and construction.  That is fine, it is agreed, but you can still ask what the ingredients are in the main dish, be grateful for the delicious meal, or even request different foods and plan together. Perhaps the other partner does not understand construction, but would like to give input on how the space will be used, share the floor plan and explain how it goes together. Educating each other can really be fun, don't you agree? Share each other world; give each other some private time off-"honey, why don't you play golf today and I'll answer the phones." or perhaps the woman needs a break for a day hike and the man is willing to take the kids to school and put together a dinner when she returns. Think of ways you can go into each thers world, share the goals and plan time together for a trip together.  You are a team and it has more power, more earning potential, more creativity than two minds working alone. It may take some time to overlap and share the power, but it is worth it and will strengthen your union by 80%!  Celerate what you have accomplished together

Here's to your physical, mental health and
your great team work as a couple
Doc Judie
judie@docjudie.com
775 7823889

#3 Couples address past issues
Greetings from Doc Judie
If you just picked up this blog, I am following the seven principals of marriage as outlined by John Gottman.

Gottman talks about couples that usually have a good marriage turn toward eachother and not away. He does not look for big gestures, but the boring every day interactions. One spouse may look out the window and say, I think it is starting to rain, I'll roll up the windows in your car for you.  The other spouse will look up from the newspaper and say, thanks, I'll have some hot chocolate ready for you when you come in.  Other couples appear to spend time together, but one is reading the newspaper the other watching the news on TV with no interaction outside of room mate talk. Other times it is just litter courtesies during the day; thanking someone for passing the salt, or saying "I'm going to the kitchen, do you need anything?" While other couples eat in silence, grunt at eachothers comments, or do not look up at eachother. It is not hard to see which couples have the better marriage, the ones that turn toward eachother and connect.
They don't always agree on everything, but they do respect eachothers' opinion.

I found some interesting exercises in Gottman's book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work that addressed past issues.
The check list for feelings about marriage:
The way I was treated in my family growing up
A previous relationship
Past injuries, hard times, or traumas I've suffered
My basic fears and insecurities
things and events I have not yet resolved or put aside
unrealized hopes I have
Ways other people treated me in the past
Things I have always thought about myself
Old nightmares or catastrophes I have worrried about

Hypnotherapy:
I thought this would be a great segway for my couples who could not let go of past issues and used hypnosis for each partner to take a trip to the past.  The scrip varies but addresses past issues that linger in the brain and translate to the present relationship.  Each partner looks at issues in their past and is instructed to let go of anything that hurt them, put them down, told them that they were not good enough or hurt them in any way.  These are old scripts that have no use in their present relationship.

Post hypnosis suggestion is to journal about these feeling and how they have brought these old feelings into their marriage and work on making it better.  Each case is different, but usually old chips on the shoulder can fall away, they understand that they are reacting  
the same way their parents did, or they are hearing a former spouse's voice. 

Through the journaling, they can then come up with one thing in the future to make a better connection their spouse. When they are comfortable with the new look at their relationship, each partner can tell the other what they would like to change. This new awareness, dialog, sharing the journals often help couples connect in a new fresh way, and let go of their past problems. Give it a try if the past is haunting your relationshlp, even if you were not aware of it.
Here's to your mental and physical health
Doc Judie
judie@docjudie.com
775 7823889

Nurture your fondness and admiration  in a relationship (part #2)

Greetings from Doc Judie
 I am reviewing the principals of a good marriage or relationship, following the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work  by John
Gottman. The last blog discussed the "love map" knowing what your partner is feeling and thinking-being aware of your partner is essential in a good relationship. Remembering a birthday, anniversary, even down to "how old are the kids now" are signs of  being connected as a couple/ family or still living a single life. The second lesson from Gottman is nurturing fondness and admiration for eachother.

Fondness and Admiration: Go back to the first meeting, what was the attraction? What did our partner do that you admired, what traits touched your heart, turned you on, or made you laugh or feel appreciated? If the relationship still has a functioning fondness and admiration system in tack, the relationship is usually in good shape, or salvageable if the history and the memories are still there.  It is emotional laziness at times to take the relationship, the marriage or the family for granted and not make an effort to connect.  Dinner together, Time spent together, holding eachother at night and  keeping the flame burning by small gestures of kindness and affection are -not just part of the courting process, they are the glue that keeps a couple together.

Couples who can remember their history fondly usually still feel admiration and fondness, if they cannot remember their history, or distort any good memories, their relationship usually needs help.  All that "having fun stuff" buffers when the bad times hit.

How hypnosis can help with this process:
I often use hypnosis to jog the memories of what each partner found endearing in the other.  How long has it been since they gave eachother a compliment, did little things for eachother, it is easy to drift apart, it takes conscious effort. During the hypnotherapy portion of counseling, the couples recap (a list that they have each given me of positive traits) they go to times when the partner made them feel accepted, sexy, proud, laughed at jokes,made a special dinner, etc.) Sometimes there is not much on the list and the hypnosis helps the partners remember. Sometimes it confirms that there really was never any fondness or admiration even in the beginning-obviously that is a sign that much work has to be done for improvement. Often there is admiration and fondness but it is buried under hurt feelings and betrayals. 

Through hypnosis, the positive points of a relationship are brought out  for the subconscious mind to process. Memories of the wedding, first time you moved in together, struggling through difficult times together and what you have achieved together Is your life at this point better with the other person in it in spite of all the problems. What are you grateful for that you have never expressed to the other partner. It is so easy to spend all of the counseling session working on the problems, but that is not my focus.  Couples that come to me really want to get better, have a better relationship.  It is important to know that the problems will always be there.  Money may be tight, blended families are always a challenge, different work schedules, different tastes, and always disagreements.  That is all part of life, part of a learning how to be together  The shift comes with the attitude that there is more good things about being together, more admiration, more fondness.  When the concentration is there, suddenly the towels on the bathroom floor, the dirty dishes, long hours at work etc. can all be worked out.  Every day let that partner know your life is better with him/her. Work on your fondness and admiration.
Here's to your mental and physical health and your long loving relationship
Doc Judie
judie@docjudie.com
775 7823889

Couples communicate through hypnosis

Greetings from Doc Judie

I used to knock myself out, listening to all the reasons why couples do not seem to get along, and  rarely did  the "why" get answered. So I turned to the best expert I knew from a couples seminar, Dr John Gottman, author of Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. (highly recommended).  I put my own spin on his research, and used the principals through a hypnotherapy script
. .
Often the couples really don't know what is going on... or they are too embarrassed or not in touch with their own subconscious feelings to blurt it out. I often hear words such as: I just don't feel the same, he/she doesn't turn me on, he's changed, she's changed. He/she is grumpy, he/she never includes me in decisions etc.etc.etc.

I ask the bullet question; "have you quit,  or are you willing to work on your relationship?" The ones that "are done" and state, I doubt if anything can save this relationship are probably right!  I don't give a very promising prognosis.  The ones that really want to have a good relationship, but don't know how to turn things around are my favorite clients-if they are willing to work on new behavior, change their script and find new ways of appreciating eachother, their chances are pretty good. Hearts and flowers are just around the corner.  (I bet I have 5 babies named after  me). Do I have a perfect score? Or course not, but much higher than former "communications" talk therapy. Much better  when hypnosis delivers the message.

Gottman states: "Happy marriages are based on deep friendship. Mutual respect and enjoyment of each other's company. They express foundness for each other day in and day out."  Best friends do not use criticism, comtempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.  Remember, this is your best friend! So this is the first script, I will continue through the seven principal; by the way, this works for all family members, you can fall in love with them all over again, even the difficult teen age son!

Here is the lst script: The love map
Take a deep breathe and relax, go to your favorite vacation spot together, if you have one, if not imagine one where you are both having such a good time, taking a walk without any interruptions, just the two of you. Onthis walk, learn about each others' lives. What happens every day, what are your hopes, fears and dreams,what makes you tick?  How have things changed over the years. Say to your partner:" Let me in on the details of your life that I have never made time for; I just "assumed that I knew you" but maybe I don't.  What is in your heart that I don't know about.  (then I let each of them speak and the other listens) There is no anger, no comment,  just quiet listening to each others' deepest thoughts.  It is usually things that the couple did not know about each other, it can cover important events in their lives, current stresses, current worries, hopes and aspirations for self and others. It ends with thanking the partner for sharing and mutual support. Sometimes this takes two or three sessions, but it usually leads to deep conversations after the sessions.

Sounds pretty easy, but it takes practice.  So many times, couples turn into "room mates" this reminds couples what they saw in each other from the beginning; how they use to talk, plan their future and not just ask " if gas in in the car, did they get the kids to baseball practice on time, did they put money in the bank? Talk about real stuff that makes life worth living-do it with your best friend.

More tomorrow on "Who am I"
Here's to your mental and physical health
Doc Judie
judie@docjudie.com
775 782-3889

 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Tapping into your strength through hypnosis

Greetings from Doc Judie

I can remember my early training, using the methods drummed into my head, mainly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT.  It is what most therapists use because it gets to the point. It looks at "what is wrong" and the therapy guilds you to change your thinking and do something different. It is very useful for changing habits, but it has its drawbacks.  Like most popular theories, CBT points out "what is wrong" and does not concentrate on "what is right" with the person. 

I use a positive approach, asking a client "what is good in your life? How do your strengths get you through difficult times? What is still good in spite of your problems.  Most people can cite the reasons that they still find joy in life, a few have to be taught from the ground up before they give up and perish. 

When you come right down to the basics, humans are programmed right down to their DNA to want to live and to have a good life. The problems will always be there, and regardless of the degree of suffering and pain, you will return to a set point of happiness that you had before the tragedy. 

 A sixty year old man was recently found wandering around a desert in Southern California without food or water for 5 days.  He wrote notes to his wife and remembered his love for her, and that is what kept him alive until help arrived, that connection to his wife kept him alive. 

A mother of a 14 year old son who recently committed suicide. She has to remember that she has other children, and it is not her time to leave the earth.  She struggles with the recent tragedy, but pushes herself to take care of her grandchildren, and their innocent laughter helps to heal her heart  get through the day. It is a reminder that she has purpose, internal strength, to be here. 

A young man was recently caught "doctor shopping' for pain medication which turned into an addiction. It all started anno
cently by a doctor too eager to reach for his prescription pad to solve a problem.  My young client is in a recovery program and is counseling younger peers with addiction problems. He has moved on, using the experience in a positive way to help others.

Pain is pain, suffering is part of life,  and no one has the perfect life so accept  the human condition. You are meant to suffer and feel pain for awhile ,not block every thing that comes to you with a pill.   When you lose someone, you will be devastated, but within a two month period (most of the time, may take a little longer) eventually you will start to return to your set point of being yourself, and yes, you will be able to find joy in your life "in spite of the pain."

So accept it, "shit happens" but "happiness happens" too!  I listen to my clients as it is important to let them tell their story.  it is important to  but it equally important not to stay in the grief session after session.  Many of my clients have not found relief through traditional therapy, they state that they have spent years learning everything about their depression, they have taken pills, and they understand their condition thoroughly....but they are still depressed! 

HYPNOSIS:   I know you were waiting for me to finally get to the turn around point.  Through relaxation, breathing techniques, I help people "get back into their bodies" they often report feeling like they are floating and not in touch. The script recognizes the sad event, but does not leave the client there or direct them "not to think about their problems." Those ridiculous suggestions just don't work.  Instead, I allow the client to follow their own path, they know what they need to do far better than I ever will. Perhaps they need to mourn a little longer, they is no magical time limit.  Perhaps, they just don't feel like getting up and finding another job, they have to find themselves first. Perhaps they need to look at the picture of their lost child and not move the clothes out-let it be! (for a reasonable amount of time-the client will usually tell me "I would like to find a job within the year, or I can't feel like this for another year").

The second part of the script is to remind clients that they have strength to get through this even if they don't think that they do.  They can go back to other situations in their life and remember how they got through those periods. Through hypnosis they remember how to tap into their survivor instincts, which are much stronger than their weaknesses.
The problems will "always be there" or new ones will crop up, but how they deal with it and how they learn to build up their energy is what they find through the hypnotherapy sessions.

What helps? I often take the clues from the clients. Do they want to be with family and friends, or do they prefer to be alone? Would they like to try journaling or would they rather turn to a daily walk? Isolation is good for awhile, but humans are social creatures, and that connection is healing and necessary.

There are a few of my clients that are so down that they do need help from a mental health professional or a medical doctor, at least for awhile, but most people will come out of their grief and  they want to  find their way back to a life worth living, they are just stuck for awhile.

 So whatever you are going through, know that you will get through it with your strengths, even if you don't know what they are right now.  Lean on others when it gets too tough, or get out of your self for a little while and go help someone else. The problems, the hurt, the loss will never leave you; but you are a survivor, you have made it this far and you have the genetic code to get through the sad times and yes, even feel joy and happiness again. 
Hypnosis can help with the process, find a licensed ASCH professional in your area or give me a call.

Here's to your mental and physical health
Doc Judie
judie@docjudie.com
775 7823889

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