Hypnotherapy Potential

Couples communicate through hypnosis

Greetings from Doc Judie

I used to knock myself out, listening to all the reasons why couples do not seem to get along, and  rarely did  the "why" get answered. So I turned to the best expert I knew from a couples seminar, Dr John Gottman, author of Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. (highly recommended).  I put my own spin on his research, and used the principals through a hypnotherapy script
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Often the couples really don't know what is going on... or they are too embarrassed or not in touch with their own subconscious feelings to blurt it out. I often hear words such as: I just don't feel the same, he/she doesn't turn me on, he's changed, she's changed. He/she is grumpy, he/she never includes me in decisions etc.etc.etc.

I ask the bullet question; "have you quit,  or are you willing to work on your relationship?" The ones that "are done" and state, I doubt if anything can save this relationship are probably right!  I don't give a very promising prognosis.  The ones that really want to have a good relationship, but don't know how to turn things around are my favorite clients-if they are willing to work on new behavior, change their script and find new ways of appreciating eachother, their chances are pretty good. Hearts and flowers are just around the corner.  (I bet I have 5 babies named after  me). Do I have a perfect score? Or course not, but much higher than former "communications" talk therapy. Much better  when hypnosis delivers the message.

Gottman states: "Happy marriages are based on deep friendship. Mutual respect and enjoyment of each other's company. They express foundness for each other day in and day out."  Best friends do not use criticism, comtempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.  Remember, this is your best friend! So this is the first script, I will continue through the seven principal; by the way, this works for all family members, you can fall in love with them all over again, even the difficult teen age son!

Here is the lst script: The love map
Take a deep breathe and relax, go to your favorite vacation spot together, if you have one, if not imagine one where you are both having such a good time, taking a walk without any interruptions, just the two of you. Onthis walk, learn about each others' lives. What happens every day, what are your hopes, fears and dreams,what makes you tick?  How have things changed over the years. Say to your partner:" Let me in on the details of your life that I have never made time for; I just "assumed that I knew you" but maybe I don't.  What is in your heart that I don't know about.  (then I let each of them speak and the other listens) There is no anger, no comment,  just quiet listening to each others' deepest thoughts.  It is usually things that the couple did not know about each other, it can cover important events in their lives, current stresses, current worries, hopes and aspirations for self and others. It ends with thanking the partner for sharing and mutual support. Sometimes this takes two or three sessions, but it usually leads to deep conversations after the sessions.

Sounds pretty easy, but it takes practice.  So many times, couples turn into "room mates" this reminds couples what they saw in each other from the beginning; how they use to talk, plan their future and not just ask " if gas in in the car, did they get the kids to baseball practice on time, did they put money in the bank? Talk about real stuff that makes life worth living-do it with your best friend.

More tomorrow on "Who am I"
Here's to your mental and physical health
Doc Judie
judie@docjudie.com
775 782-3889

 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Building Wisdom Through Hypnosis

Greetings from Doc Judie

Several of the blogs are building blocks for developing or deepening qualities that build your character strengths and virtues, they are the strengths and virtues found in people who lead happy lives, and that is what my practice is all about; living the good life. 

The topic today is wisdom which immediately conjure up an image of dead poets and politicians  (or in this case, Father Time) giving their sage advice to the world!

Think of wisdom in a broader sense of the word; it is referring to your wisdom, you character,

Sometimes you have to quiet down the mind and be by yourself to hear your own thoughts. It will set you right with the world again.

Reflect on the words in this 1968 Broadway Play; Sir Lawrence Olivia is Father Time.

Time

 Stand before me on the sign of infinity all you of the earth.

With the granting of the law of provination, comes the application of change. I will give you the key…and with this knowledge please realize comes the responsibility of sharing it. I will show you the way... It is very simple. Throughout the universe there is order: In the movement of the planets, in nature, and in the functioning of the human mind. A mind that is in its natural state of order is in harmony with the universe and such a mind is timeless. Your life is an expression of your mind, you are the creator of your own universe for as a human being you are free to will what ever state of  being you desire through the use of your thoughts and words;  ah there is great power there. It can be a blessing or a curse it is entirely up to you.  For the quality of your life is brought about the by the quality of your thinking, think about that! Thoughts produce action.  Look at what you are thinking; see the pettiness and the envy and the greed and the fear and all the other attitudes that cause you pain and discomfort. Realize that the one thing that you have absolute control over is your attitude.  See the effect that it has on those around you.  Each life is linked to all life and your words carry with them chain reactions, like a stone that is thrown into a pond.  If your thinking is in order, your words will flow directly from the heart creating ripples of love. If you truly want to change the world my friend, you must change your thinking.  Reason is your greatest tool. It creates an atmosphere of understanding, which leads to caring, which is love.  Chose your words with care, go forth with love.

Now switch your thinking to what you would do if you only had six months to live.  What words of wisdom would you want to give to your children, your loved ones? This happened to Dr. Randy Paunch who has an amazing video on You Tube  called: The Last Lecture. There is also a book out featuring Randy Paunch's last lecture.  His mother introduced him by telling her friends: yes he was a doctor, but "not the kind who helps people" He wanted people to know that it was important to keep humor in tact, even if you are dying.  He explained that his cancer did not show on the outside and he was in the best shape of his life. He demonstrated by doing army style pushups!  This was his list of wisdom to be passed on:
Let your kids have a great imagination, let them paint their room; never lose your childlike curiosity throughout your whole life.
Remember your roots, keep what is important about your past
Loyalty is a two way street; be loyal to the people who are loyal to you
Ask people for help, it is more important to be honest than to "be hip," let them know when you are down, and be there for them.
Don't give up and don't bale; the best stuff in life can be the crap at the bottom of a barrel.
Find the best in everybody. sometimes it takes a long time, but keep waiting,someone will finally show you their good side. Nobody is all bad.
Don't worry about achieving your dreams, what is important is how you live your life; the dreams will find you.
I hope you enjoy the notes from my last lecture, but  they were not for you; I did this for my kids!

I often do sessions with people who feel it is time to reflect on their own lives. What has been accomplished, what is left to do, and what words of wisdom to pass on.  Here is your journey and your discovery on your own brand of wisdom.  See what you are all about.
Doc Judie
Here is to your mental and physical health
775 782-3889 judie@docjudie.com